Hey dudes, let’s make a resolution for the 2010, better yet, for at least the next decade. No more catcalls! I was at the mall the other day and as I walked past this guy he proclaimed, “Hey baby looking good, you remind me of my sister.” Really dude, I remind you of your sister? Would you hit on your sister like that then? If so, that’s nasty because we are definitely not The Bradys. In case you didn’t get the reference, the actors who played Greg and Marsha Brady dated briefly off set…but I digress.
My point in all this is that it’s annoying when dudes yell stuff to chicks in public. What annoys me the most is when a dude yells, “Ay yo shawty come here”. First of all, stranger danger; and secondly who are you calling shawty? You are like 5 feet 2 inches and I’m 5 feet 8 inches, so why don’t you climb a ladder to get at my eye level and see the look of disgust on my face. I have nothing against shorter guys, the point is I don't like being catcalled.
There are times when it is appropriate to approach a woman, but the mall is not one of them (at least for me). The only thing I’m attracted to when I shop is a new pair of shoes. I’m not saying that guys shouldn't approach a girl they find attractive, but do it with some finesse. Below is a list of appropriate ways to approach a lady. Caution: The success rate of these guidelines depends on the situation and the girl's mood. Thank me later.1. Do not be disrespectful (no baby, shorty, girl, etc). a.Try instead, “Hey my name is (insert name), what’s your name?” or some uncreepy variation. 2. Do not scream from across the room. a.Instead walk over to her. You’ll lose calories and gain the girl’s respect all at the same time. 3. Do not whistle or make weird sounds. a.Women are not dogs who come when you call. If you bark like that you will get bit. 4. Be able to take rejection. a.If she doesn’t seem responsive, let it go and move on. As Jay-Z says, “On to the next one”. 5. Never sneak up behind her. a. That’s just creepy and can result in injury on your part. 6. Don’t use one-liners. a. That’s just corny. 7. Be yourself. a. Cliché but true.Don't act like someone you're not because she'll eventually find out. Dishonesty is something a woman hates more than anything else.
Below is exactly what you should not do. If you haven’t seen this video before then watch it now because it’s hilarious.
Remember when you were a little girl and rocked Jellies on your feet? Yeah, I just brought it back and aged most of the people reading this. For those of you left out in my fashionable dust, Jellies were shoes made out of PVC plastic that came in a variety of colors. Now, I’m not going to get into an in-depth history of them, but I will say that they were very popular in the 1980s and have been recently resurrected.
Every girl I know had a pair of Jellies. Some girls had a matching Jelly for each outfit. Personally, I remember having clear glittery Jelly sandals. Now, you may be wondering why I’m bringing this up. Is it because I’m about to head into finals week at school and am beginning to feel nostalgic about my youth and simpler times? No. Okay maybe a little.
Actually, this topic stemmed from a conversation I had earlier today with Chanel. When we’re not talking about our ideas for curing cancer and ending global warming we like to delve into more important issues like the weather and 1980s pop culture. We came to the conclusion that Crocs are the millennium’s answer to Jellies.
Let’s make it clear. Crocs will never ever be able to be as cool as Jellies. I don’t care how comfortable they are. Sure, Jellies make your feet sweat, but at least you’re sweating with style. And yes, sometimes Jellies make your feet blister, but gosh darn-it “pain is beauty”. At least, that’s what my aunt said before she cut my hair off in second grade, but that’s a whole other story.
Crocs are on the forefront of the hideous yet comfortable shoe trend (I’m coming for you next Uggs). Crocs are also virtually indestructible which means that I couldn’t burn them if I tried. They are like cockroaches to me. So, should I give up on this rant because I know that they won’t go away anytime soon? No, because the Crocs company has recently gone out of business. See, recessions aren’t that bad after all. Now, Jellies are a classic made out of plastic. Crocs, on the other hand are shoes that I can’t stand. I think that about sums up my moment of nostalgia.