Things I Hate, Things I Make, Uncategorized

MUM ON HAITI

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JANUARY 21, 2010 So I haven't chimed in on the insane condition of Haiti. Basically, I just don't have the visual or verbal vocabulary to express how much sorrow, frustration, amazement etc over the whole situation. I'm not gonna lie, I feel real paralyzed about what to do to help In this time when so much is needed, especially having the understanding that some shipments are getting bottle necked from the airport and some planes are being sent away. It doesn't help that I think most charities (not all there are def some fantastic ones) are full of sh*t. I feel that it's almost wrong to bring up my personal views of most non profits, but I must just to get some dirt off my chest. I think that most non-profits spend waaaaaaaaay to much on administration. Just google Salaries of Charity CEO. Yes it's gotten a lot better within the last few years but still, charities aren't suppose to be about creating a high paying job. They should be about helping out. I've created this tee and want to donates or coordinate a way to send resources to those in need (in the most direct way possible) 50% of the profits of this tee will be contributed to [fill in the blank] APRIL 7th, 2010 So that tee sat on hold for a while. In between the time I wrote the first half of this post and now one of the most popular fund raising organizations, Yele has come under scrutiny for mis management of funds, red tape is still is slowing down delivery of aid and the Oxfam has reached it's fund raising efforts and would like you to donate to one of their other causes.  So I ask again, how does one help?. REALLY help not just save a few babies have a few inspiring heroic stories, but actual invest in helping Haiti come a place with a stable economy and not just another poor 3rd world nation with a sad story and a telethon fund raiser? I have an interest in Haiti because of it's rich history and symbolism of diasporic freedom (one of the first slavery victories included in American history...near the end of the text book). The reason why I use the word symbolic is because. Yes , Haiti was the first  nation to be ruled by people of Africa ancestry but they literally had to pay for it...like paid money to the the french banks. Who wins a war and has to pay the enemy? That's already one huge economic smack in the face and If you think about it, who is really trying to do trade with a nation ran by ex-slaves when they could buy sugar from slave nations throughout the same region. Haiti basically got fed a bone and even before this last earth quake needed a severe restructure to become a truly independent and sustainable nation. I wish I was here, figuratively and literally, with this Haitian family in 1978 looking all happy. This tee is not currently for sale on junkprints because I haven't decided yet where the funds raised should go. I do believe that helping by sticking close to home can have a rippling impact and am seriously considering just giving to money to my token Haitian friend Claudia, at least she won't give it to her ex-wife. If you have any other suggestions pls feel free to leave comments.
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Random, Thing I Love, Things I Hate

Always A Bridemaid…

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I am currently counting down the days (7 days) until my upcoming trip to the United Kingdom. I will be bouncing around Liverpool, Birmingham, and of course London for most of April. The primary reason for the trip is to attend my cousin's wedding where I will be a bridesmaid, again. I've never been to a wedding a just a guest. Somehow I am always roped in to be a part of the wedding party. Not that I mind, but I've dealt with my share of bridezillas. And, no I don't have "27 Dresses"...yet. Speaking of bridezillas, let me share with you my ultimate bridezilla moment: My aunt got married a few years ago and enlisted me as a bridesmaid. Not only were we forced to buy expensive Indian Remy weaves, she outfitted us in bubble gum Pepto Bismol pink dresses. I didn't even get to the hideous part yet. She wanted us to wear matching silver jewelry (earrings, necklace, and bracelet) which would've been okay except that I am allergic to silver jewelry. If worn I break out in hives. When I told her this she just about broke down and cried. Then she proclaimed that I would ruin her wedding if I didn't wear the jewelry. So being the trooper that I am I decided to at least wear the silver bracelet. So, of course I eventually broke out in hives and was itching my arm beyond belief. The wedding planner notices and rushes me to the ladies room where she busts out some Neosporin to put on my arm. That would've been okay except for the fact that I am also allergic to Neosporin. Obviously the hives grew worse after that. The end. I have a fear that this time around I will be walking down the isle in Birmingham looking like a sparkly candy cane because I've been outfitted with a red dress, cream- colored wrap and gold accessories. Well, at least they listened to me this time around when I told them about my allergies. Below are some pictures of hideous bridesmaid outfits. It gives me hope knowing that things could be worse:
I'm not going to lie. With an extra yard of fabric my dress could've looked like this. Honestly, it's very similar.
Were they going to a wedding or Solid Gold dancer auditions?
No words.
I never understood the ugly bridesmaid thing. Why would you want your friends to look bad? It's either a lot of brides are insecure or they just have bad taste. Maybe a little bit of both. Your friends are a reflection of you, so make them look as fly as possible.
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Art, Random, Things I Hate

Doing The Most

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We've all seen him. That guy who rides around town in a $5000 car with about $15,000 worth of extra accessories on it. Maybe he tried to court you at the McDonald's drive through. Maybe it worked because now he's your boyfriend and after spending every cent he had that is the only place he can wine and dine you. Yes, the reason he can't take you to even buy a "Love It" cone at Cold Stone Creamery is because of that "Ice Cream Paint Job" he just had to have. Why? It's because everyone needs their 1965 Chevy Impala to look like "The Mystery Machine". This is an example of what street philosophers call "Doing The Most". According, to Urban Dictionary "Doing The Most" can be defined as, "trying way too hard to be impressive but only causing self-embarrassment". We see examples of "Doing The Most" everyday. The guy who spent his pay check on the newest Jordan's then turns around and asks you for a quarter. The girl with the long Remy weave who tells you that it's all her's because she's part Cherokee. Riiiiiight. If you bought it, then it's yours. Enough said. Of course Pocahontas is friends with the girl with the "real" Channel bag. You haven't heard of Channel? It's like Chanel, but it fell off of a truck. Never try too hard to be impressive and please, please, please always live within your means. "Doing The Most" is what caused the recession, in my opinion. Check out the following items that are "doing the most" :
This gold and diamond encrusted MP3 player costs $20,000.00 Without the extra "bling" you can purchase it for $79.00.
This set of diamond headphones can run between $3,500 and $80,000. Do yourself a favor and just go to your local Bestbuy or Dollar Store for headphones. They never last as long as they should anyway.
This piece was created during a 2009 collaboration between Pharell Willams and Takashi Murakami. The objects were encrusted by Jacob and Co jewelers with diamonds, emeralds, sapphires, and rubies. Entitled "The Simple Things" , the piece sold within the first half hour of its unveiling.
The Williams/Murakami piece above leads me to the following question: When does art become "Doing the Most"? I like the message behind the piece. I actually think it is pretty funny, but I just flabbergasted that someone paid an undisclosed amount for a bedazzled can of Pepsi. Then of course there is Lady Gaga. She is definitely a very creative artist, but is what she's doing really art or is she "doing the most"? What say you?
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Things I Hate

Snowpocalypse Mania!

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Okay, I get it.  There's a lot of snow outside. I don't need anyone to tell that. Seriously, I haven't been outside my house in almost a week. But, do you want to know what really grinds my gears? Weather people. It's like they wait for times like this to happen, so they can instill fear in everybody. After getting overshadowed by late breaking stories and sports, they finally get their time to shine and can't get enough of the snow. I finally get some time to relax and watch television and what do I see? 24 hour weather people risking their lives in the snow to tell me how cold it is. "Sandra, it's really cold out here. People are not leaving their homes. I see about 3 feet of snow and no cars on the road." Really, you think? Tell me something I don't know. You don't need to show me I can look out my window and see that I have more than 2 feet of snow there. So, here I am trying to watch my favorite television doctor, Dr. Oz and instead I see Mr. Joe Cool outside telling me information that I already know. I get it. It's your job, but how about you take a break so I can hear about something other than "Snowpocalypse 2010" (There name, not mine). I think they love to over dramatize things and instilling fear in people. It's okay if you talk about it during the morning news and evening news, but let me have my days with Dr. Oz and Oprah free without interruptions. Dude below is crazy!
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Thing I Love, Things I Hate, Uncategorized

LOVE that Jeffrey Deitch is MOCA’s new director

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But I don't love that he has to close up Deitch Projects and stop dealing in the commercial world...I'm also not so much of a fan of having Shepard Fairy do the closing show...Come on Jeff (you don't mind if I call you Jeff do you?) You are responsible for introducing the world to Jeff Koons,and Kehinde Wiley, Hey you even represent Keith Haring...and your last big who-ha is a solo show for Fairy? I'm just saying. Well congrats on your MOCA position and I'm very excited about the new perspective you'll bring!
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Things I Hate

No My First Name Ain’t Baby…

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Hey dudes, let’s make a resolution for the 2010, better yet, for at least the next decade. No more catcalls! I was at the mall the other day and as I walked past this guy he proclaimed, “Hey baby looking good, you remind me of my sister.” Really dude, I remind you of your sister? Would you hit on your sister like that then? If so, that’s nasty because we are definitely not The Bradys. In case you didn’t get the reference, the actors who played Greg and Marsha Brady dated briefly off set…but I digress.

My point in all this is that it’s annoying when dudes yell stuff to chicks in public. What annoys me the most is when a dude yells, “Ay yo shawty come here”. First of all, stranger danger; and secondly who are you calling shawty? You are like 5 feet 2 inches and I’m 5 feet 8 inches, so why don’t you climb a ladder to get at my eye level and see the look of disgust on my face. I have nothing against shorter guys, the point is I don't like being catcalled.

There are times when it is appropriate to approach a woman, but the mall is not one of them (at least for me). The only thing I’m attracted to when I shop is a new pair of shoes. I’m not saying that guys shouldn't approach a girl they find attractive, but do it with some finesse. Below is a list of appropriate ways to approach a lady. Caution: The success rate of these guidelines depends on the situation and the girl's mood. Thank me later.

1. Do not be disrespectful (no baby, shorty, girl, etc). a.Try instead, “Hey my name is (insert name), what’s your name?” or some uncreepy variation. 2. Do not scream from across the room. a.Instead walk over to her. You’ll lose calories and gain the girl’s respect all at the same time. 3. Do not whistle or make weird sounds. a.Women are not dogs who come when you call. If you bark like that you will get bit. 4. Be able to take rejection. a.If she doesn’t seem responsive, let it go and move on. As Jay-Z says, “On to the next one”. 5. Never sneak up behind her. a. That’s just creepy and can result in injury on your part. 6. Don’t use one-liners. a. That’s just corny. 7. Be yourself. a. Cliché but true.Don't act like someone you're not because she'll eventually find out. Dishonesty is something a woman hates more than anything else.

Below is exactly what you should not do. If you haven’t seen this video before then watch it now because it’s hilarious.

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Random, Things I Hate

Make Em Say Ugg, Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah

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As I sit here writing, I am being warmed by the heat from my fireplace portable electric heater. Outside my window the sun is out shining gorgeously, but looks are deceiving. If you are in the Northeast you know that it's really cold. Not only is it cold, it's windy. The wind disrespects my bones, my jacket, and the umbrella I bust out when it flurries. Call me, Captain Obvious, but doesn't it makes sense to dress warmly when it's cold outside? Maybe it's just me, but when it's something like thirty-two degrees outside my initial thoughts are not to wear a mini-skirt and flip-flops. Sometimes I see people walking outside wearing basically nothing and I feel cold for them.I used to know this kid who would never ever wear pants, even when it was snowing. And, then there was me in my six layers of clothing blowing my nose because I had a cold. Really, I was the one sick. I'm the kid who carries hand sanitizer everywhere and dresses weather appropriate. That kid, with the shorts, no jacket who occasionally wore mittens, never got sick. Not only have I seen people wearing mini-skirts in this weather (at least wear thick tights if you're gonna do it), I live in a town where every other girl rocks Ugg bootsugh. Ugh! Okay, so I tried some on the other day and they are very comfortable, but I refuse, refuse, refuse to buy a pair. Here's my reason: They. Are. Not. Functional. They do have weather-resistant versions, but most people have Classic Ugg Boots. Let me school you a bit about the history of Ugg Boots. Before they were popular stateside they were worn by surfers to wear after surfing. Hence, their Austrailian origin. So, they are really for the beach and the sand. They are not supposed to be worn in the snow. This is why they look ugly after the winter season. And, it's not false advertising either because a lot of their advertisements are shot on the beach. Think about it. That's they only thing I really have against them other than their appearance. If you are currently wearing Ugg boots while reading this, don't be ashamed. They are really comfortable, just not at all functional. However, if you are wearing the boots with a mini-skirt and bare legs in thirty degree weather you are dead wrong. I'm just saying....
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Random, Thing I Love, Things I Hate

Jellies v.s. Crocs

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Remember when you were a little girl and rocked Jellies on your feet?  Yeaclear-jelliesh, I just brought it back and aged most of the people reading this. For those of you left out in my fashionable dust, Jellies were shoes made out of PVC plastic that came in a variety of colors. Now, I’m not going to get into an in-depth history of them, but I will say that they were very popular in the 1980s and have been recently resurrected.

Every girl I know had a pair of Jellies. Some girls had a matching Jelly for each outfit. Personally, I remember having clear glittery Jelly sandals. Now, you may be wondering why I’m bringing this up. Is it because I’m about to head into finals week at school and am beginning to feel nostalgic about my youth and simpler times? No. Okay maybe a little.

Actually, this topic stemmed from a conversation I had earlier today with Chanel. When we’re not talking about our ideas for curing cancer and ending global warming we like to delve into more important issues like the weather and 1980s pop culture. We came to the conclusion that Crocs are the millennium’s answer to Jellies.

Let’s make it clear. Crocs will never ever be able to be as cool as Jellies. I don’t care how comfortable they are. Sure, Jellies make your feet sweat, but at least you’re sweating with style. And yes, sometimes Jellies make your feet blister, but gosh darn-it “pain is beauty”. At least, that’s what my aunt said before she cut my hair off in second grade, but that’s a whole other story.

Crocs are on the forefront of the hideous yet comfortable shoe trend (I’m coming for you next Uggs). Crocs are also virtually indestructible which means that I couldn’t burn them if I tried. They are like cockroaches to me. So, should I give up on this rant because I know that they won’t go away anytime soon? No, because the Crocs company has recently gone out of business. See, recessions aren’t that bad after all. Now, Jellies are a classic made out of plastic. Crocs, on the other hand are shoes that I can’t stand. I think that about sums up my moment of nostalgia.

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Design, Thing I Love, Things I Hate

I WANTED TO BE CREATIVE DIRECTOR OF VIBE

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Vibe magazine was one the most influential publication for me. In fact it was because of Vibe Magazine that I majored in photography and started doing editorial. As I got older, got a bit of experience and was exposed to more stuff my directives changed abit. None the less it was the very first magazine that I had a subscription too and greatly helped to shape my visual language...ya'll remember the illustration issue that they would put out every year? I must admit It's been a while since I've been excited about a Vibe issue, but as a 12 yr old kid all I needed was some Sanrio stickers and a Vibe mag and I was good to go. It's sad to see that Vibe is no more...though I feel a lot better about the closing of Vibe than I did of Missbehave. Guess I just understand where Vibe is coming from, making mags is expensive and in some ways an obsolete media outlet. It's wild to think that the internets has killed so many of my photo editorial inspirations. Over the weekend I went mag shopping. I use to go once a month but over the years it's been greatly reduced due to the fact that I'm no longer looking to be introduced to new things through magazines, it's more about layout, images and collection of articles and or stories. I find that I enjoy Colors alot more than any of my teen faves due to the fact that its beatifully done and  just talks about people...not celebrities...just people. While I'm pouring out liquor for dead mags I'll give a big ups to Ego Trip,  and Suede ...and pray that Frank and Trace mags can survive as print publications.
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