What they don’t tell you about Cruises

2016-01-17 10.31.10 1

They sneak gratuity…pull you way out of cell and WiFi region then auto charge your credit card for gratuity…after you have been cash tipping the whole time…fail

“Washy washy”. There are over enthusiast folks eager to spray you with hand sanitizer everywhere and they say ‘Washy washy’

The cruise director makes random announcements across the ship’s pa system. It feels like you are a participant in the hunger games or in 1984. Our cruise director’s name was Dave ‘Dingo’ he had an Australian accent and was always enthusiastically announcing things like the 20 minute dance party on deck 7 or that deck 4 has sprinkles.

You will not receive an accurate map nor information about your next port unless it relates to booking an overpriced activity or excursion. And Internet service is $30 per day. Best bet is to check your emails when you arrive at your docking destinations most of the restaurants had free wifi…and negotiate when you get places. There is tons to get into.

And all the restaurants on the ship serve the same food. They just arrange it differently.

There are lots of shuffle board courts on decks perfect for socializing and getting the scoop on cruises from fellow cruisers .

The elevators take forever and are always full. Take the stairs, you probably ate 3 plates worth of food for dinner so you should probably take the stairs anyway.

The towels folded as animals and surprisingly very impressive.

Water… bring your own bottled water. The ship’s water taste sketchy and half of the water dispensers are out of order at any given time.

Everyone is super friendly, the workers the passengers…it’s pretty cool. One thing I notices is that the staff don’t get much time off. One of the fitness instructors said that he had been working for 2 weeks straight and within that time had only had 4 hours off…sounds exploitative, but they did seem happy and I don’t know the full details of their working arrangements.

Mind your head if you are sleeping on the bottom bunk

Being vegetarian/vegan, gluten free or pretty much having any kind of “dietary restriction” better yet, if you aren’t into eating heavy salt sugar and starchy meals it’s challenging to eat balanced. The folks on the ship never want to exclude, I guess it’s part of the hospitality so you’ll find yourself asking about 3 people for every dish if it’s dairy free, vegetarian etc. and most likely it won’t be dairy free (gluten free etc.) and if it doesn’t contain dairy (or whatever else you are attempting to stay away from to stay clean) it will be ridiculous salty or sweet. The part that makes it super rough is that you are pretty much trapped on the boat for the majority of the trip. And you are not allowed to bring food from your ports back on the ship.

It’s a great way to visit many places. I’m Belizean on my mom’s side and it was honestly the least expensive way to get there. While I was there I discovered that you can catch a bus up north to Playa Del Carmen Mexico, right outside of Cancun, for about $9 then catch an inexpensive flight back to the U.S. I even ended up meeting folks who jumped ship at certain spots along the cruise…don’t think you are suppose to do that but hey it’s your life

Overall it’s a dope experience, mostly because my folks are dope and central America is dope. Glad to roll with @Kennebrew the 2M2X crew and Tough Dumplin on my first communal yachting experience aka cruise.

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